Firefly and Sybilla's IZ Collabs of DOOM
by Firefly Fairy In A Bottle
Summary: Witness the amazing team-up of two writers as they tackle their many hopeful ideas together. Primary pairings are ZaDr, RaPr, and GaGr.


**AN- Hello and welcome! This here is a series of collaborations between myself and my good friend Sybilla. Our collabs work like this– I'll write one paragraph, she'll write another, and it just goes back and forth. So! Sit back, relax, and enjoy!**

**Title- Of Doughnuts and Kisses**

**Genre- Romance**

**Summary- A rather, er. . . _interesting_ transmission from Zim awakens some hidden feelings between the Tallests. RaPr, heavily implied ZaDr.**

**Words (total)- 1,550**

**Words (Firefly)- 799**

**Words (Sybilla)- 751**

**Inspiration- It's just an idea that I've had for a long time.**

**Notes- I have the first paragraph on this one. Sybilla and I were blessed to have watched Backseat Drivers the night before writing this.** **On a side note, I've finally seen all of the episodes of Invader Zim.**

"Incoming transmission, sirs," an Irken soldier said, hardly looking up from his control panel. The next few words were said in a tone anticipating doom. "From_ Earth_."

"From Earth?" Red looked to Purple, confusion falling over his green tinted face, "_Zim_…" The screen fuzzed and then shot to Zim's face in his lair. A toothy grin was spread across his alien face, magenta eyes gleaming with pride.

"Can't we just skip this one?" Purple whispered desperately, leaning closer to Red. "Please? I mean, today was going to be a _good day_! We were gonna eat snacks, and hang out–"

"Hello my Tallests! Ziiiiiiiiim! Calling in to tell you about the progress on the… _DESTRUCTION_ of Earth!" Zim interrupted. Red's antennae twitched as he stared at Zim, eyes narrowed; Purple mimicking him all the same, as usual.

"I'm afraid not," Red whispered back to him, before returning his attention to Zim. He let out a sound between a sigh and groan, eager to get this over with. "What is it, Zim?"

Smiling, Zim took out some blueprints and put them in front of the screen. They had a diagram of some sort of Irken contraption. "I will make this!" Zim smirked, not noticing all the errors in the design and mathematics, "And it shall destroy this dirt-planet! _Muahahahahahahahahahah_!"

"That's great, Zim," Red said half-heartedly. It was always the same with Zim— plans to destroy the humans and whatnot never working, always being an idiot, the continuous yelling— it got tiring after a while.

"Yes! Yes it is! I will use their _evil_ star's solar energy and fire, and I will shoot it down onto the surface! It will burn every stinky bug-life out! Especially that evil little Dib-stink!" Zim's eyes had gone narrow as he stared at the screen.

"Tell 'em about the kissins! Tell 'em about the kissins!" shrieked a high-pitched voice from off-screen. It didn't take much of a brain to figure out that it was Zim's idiotic SIR unit. But what on _Irk_ was he talking about?

Purple stared deep into the screen, clearly a bit curious to know the motion of affection that they hadn't heard of until this millennia. "What's this… Kissins?" Zim put his palm to his face and shook his head; face an excellent shade of turquoise.

"It's this thing the humans do…," he said softly, obviously embarrassed in having to explain the ways of smelly human affection to his superior leaders. "I-It's like…," struggling to find a way to explain such a thing, he turns to the side and shouts, "GIR! The puppets! _Now_!"

"Eeeeeee! The puppets!" GIR ran off the screen and came back with some of the ugliest puppets the entirety of Irk could possibly ever imagine… or see. Putting them on, Zim made sure the puppets were in the camera's line of view.

"They make their faces come together," he looked between the puppets and the camera warily. "Like this." He made the puppets come closer and touched their "lips" together.

Smashing their faces together was an awkward state. Moving them up and down, side to side, was like a horror movie for children. The Tallests had a look of mortification plastered to them. Red propped one eyebrow up. "They eat their faces off and gnaw with their barbaric teeth and lick with their strange, fat tongues! A battle of affection so I've heard…"

"Um…," Red was the first to speak, "This has been… interesting, Zim."

"I hope you have learned much from this performance! I find it quite enjoyable." The Tallests looked at him strangely. "Zim did not mean that!" A bright blue spread across his face, like when you pour water out of a cup and onto a clear glass table. It's spreads out across it, completely and noticeably spreading to the outer edges of the surface.

Zim sighed in relief as the screen turned to static, falling to his knees as he did so. "That was a close one," he said in a gasp.

"I agree." Dib smirked. The whole time sitting on the couch; at the far end of the room, unseen by the camera; he was there. Hair spiked behind himself like usual, but his glasses had been taken off and set neatly to the side. Beside him sat a pair of silvery cuffs. The light of the machinery around them glinted off of them and his shirt was tossed to the side. Of course, who knows what was under the covers of the giant white blanket that sat leisurely across his lap.

Zim almost smiled in spite of himself. "So you were right…," he commented offhandedly. "Those alien sleepy cuff thingies really _do_ work."

_~~Transition of DOOM~~_

Purple started over to the table full of assortments of snacks._ I wonder what this… kissing thing… feels like…_

Meanwhile, Red still sits at his seat in the front room, staring at the screen in mild shock. His thoughts are not unlike Purple's. _Zim may be crazy… he usually is… But it **is** rather interesting… And I can't help but wonder…_ He rose from his seat and took a peek into the next room, catching merely a glimpse of lavender and green. _No, no, not this again…_ It was odd, to say the least. Irkens hardly knew of such a thing as love or affection, so it surely couldn't be what he had been feeling as of lately. It couldn't have been the itch that was always prompting him to take a glance at Purple, or maybe move an inch or two closer… It couldn't be!

Purple started to munch on some doughnuts, stuffing his face to its fullest capacity. He happened to catch sight of Red and beckoned him to come and join him. _I wonder if he's thinking about it too._

Red awkwardly shifted in, floating to Purple's side. He picked up a doughnut and turned it over in his hand, trying to ignore the fact that, if his blood was red, his face would have matched his name. "Hey, Purple?"

Purple stopped stuffing his face and looked up for a moment. "Yeah, Red?" Slowly picking up one of the snacks he brought it to his mouth and slowly munched on it, waiting for the response to flow fluently from Red's lips.

Red raised the doughnut up to his mouth, speaking in between large bites of it. "That thing… Zim showed us… was weird… don't you think?" The donut was gone by the time he had finished, and he grabbed another one from off of the table.

Purple nodded. "It was… interesting. It's a sign of affection, right?" He reached for another doughnut, catching air. The doughnuts… _were gone_! "Noooooo! There are no more doughnuts! This is absolutely horrible! How could it come to this?"

Red frowned at the empty table, then looked at the doughnut in his hand. _No. No way. This is my donut! Purple was stuffing his face with them just a second ago! It's__** his fault**__ we ran out! Why should I?_

Purple sank into his seat a frown set upon his face." Why do the doughnuts always run out so quickly… It's horrible… the worst thing that could ever happen…" He caught sight of the doughnut in Red's hand. _I think I'll ask…_

As soon as Purple's eyes fell upon the doughnut, Red held it protectively, away from the other. "No way, Purple! This is my doughnut, and I'm gonna eat it!"

"But Reeeeeeeddddd! It's the last one! And I want it!" He stood and floated over, reaching across to grasp it in his green claws.

Red was quick to act, promptly shoving the doughnut into his mouth and beginning to chew. He wore a smug grin. He had surely won the doughnut, and there was nothing Purple could do about it now.

Purple, without even thinking it out, leaned and locked lips with his fellow Tallest, gripping his shoulders.

Red was too shocked to even process the events as they played out. This… this was a kiss. And as Purple's tongue glided into his mouth, reaching every inch of his mouth to devour the remains of his precious doughnut, Red decided it felt kind of… nice. So he accepted it, leaning in and wrapping his own tongue around Purple's.

Purple brought Red closer and closer, licking at his teeth, and playing with his tongue. _So this was the face devouring thing I saw Zim acting out… It's quite enjoyable, especially with Red… _He finished off the last remaining pieces of the delectable doughnut from Red, but didn't _dare_ stop.

Unfortunately, it was at this time that Red finally snapped to his senses, backing away from him and panting hard. "Purple…," he gasped. He looked at him dead in the eyes, frustrated and confused. "What the hell was _that_?"

Purple smirked at him. "Looks like I got my doughnut… and maybe a little more…" He looked at him as if he had just won an Irken battle all by himself.

He was quickly met with a sharp smack to the head before Red exited the room in a huff. No one took advantage of Almighty Tallest Red like that! Not even Almighty Tallest Purple. In fact… especially not him! Still, he felt pathetic as he failed to suppress his hopeless smile.


End file.
